Posted on by Reflections of an Untidy Mind

Into The Deep End – A Family History

The last time I visited my mother’s place in 2018, my True Love, who is a nosy bugger, picked up what appeared to be a small family history journal. He was only a few pages in when he exclaimed that I had to read this. So I read a few pages. It dissolved me. I put the journal aside to digest the information, hopefully to return to it another day.

I’ve heard often the advice not to dwell in the past but instead to look forward. I wonder if that advice is given by those who have trouble leaving it behind. I wish I could take that advice. But I seem to be stuck there, in that moment of betrayal and tragedy when a family’s life was torn apart by colonial invaders. Surely anyone who knows this history would take it upon themselves to reached out to descendants of the other family to apologise?

The journal was a biography of the Little family. The Littles left Ireland in 1839 to build a new life in Australia. The family journal is lost now. Borrowed by another and not returned. So I only learnt recently that I’m a descendant of the 1839 Littles. So now I know. I must say sorry. I do not expect absolution for the sins of the past. There’s no absolution for lives taken, land stolen and freedom denied. There is only truth. The alternative to apologising is to live without compassion, without humanity, live the lie. Still, I appreciate how difficult it is to make the first move. I have been reflecting longer than I should. My time has come.

The family patriarch, John Little, settled on Baffle Creek, near Bundaberg. His wife, Catherine, suggested the property be named “Rosedale”.

Source: Fox’s History of Queensland – Its People and Industries, p. 291

It is not difficult to imagine the importance of this lagoon to the evicted owners, the Gooreng Gooreng people.

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In the absence of the journal, I dived into Ancestry. What a shock it was to see the family trees and photos of people who have committed atrocities and yet there is no acknowledgement of that. Maybe a better term for Ancestry would be Pandora’s box.

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In November 2024, the newly elected Queensland Government led by David Crisafulli, abolished the state’s Truth-telling and Healing Inquiry and repealed the Path to Treaty Act.

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Thanks for reading. Take care, everyone, and don’t let your ancestry shame you into avoiding the truth or hamper your compassion.

Kind Regards.
Tracy.

Posted on by Reflections of an Untidy Mind

That Sinking Feeling

That feeling you have when you discover your hearing aid is missing after an afternoon of planting in the garden.

Photo by An Chu on Pexels.com

Followed by a feeling of relief when the hearing aid is finally located caught in the zipper of your coat.

I think I’ll buy a couple of extra plants to celebrate my good fortune.

Take care, everyone, or savour the silence.

Kind Regards.
Tracy.

Posted on by Reflections of an Untidy Mind

Unfinished Business

My father is definitely thinner. Frailer. His kidneys are failing him but I can’t decide whether he has lost his mind. He probably has, but I don’t want to face it. Most likely because, if he has lost his mind, I am not far behind him. But this is not about me.

My father needs to decide whether to go on dialysis. He’s old. And frail. And forgets things. Did I mention that? However, he has always been rather forgetful as he doesn’t pay attention.

There’s probably only one sure thing. Ama, our little dog who is supposed to be dead by now, will probably outlast us both. She doesn’t forget anything. The diagnostic blood test clearly didn’t tell the full story. The excess insulin in her system was from her pancreas correcting for the dawn phenomenon and not from a tumour. Ama is unusual but not that unusual. Thank Dog!

So here we all are. Not going strong, but still going. Hope you are too.

Take care and try to pay attention.

Kind Regards.
Tracy.

Posted on by Reflections of an Untidy Mind

Ama – The Nice One

Everything you wanted to know about a little old dog who has been diagnosed with insulinoma (an aggressive insulin producing tumour), but were too afraid to ask.

To recap. Our little dog, Ama, had a bad episode of pancreatitis in January. Too much cheese and yoghurt. She came home from the specialist vet with a not unreasonable diagnosis of insulinoma and a blood glucose sensor. Her medical team had trouble stabilising her blood glucose levels and a blood test showed a high insulin blood serum level. Two weeks of BG data indicated that her BGLs were fine.

We suspect the diagnosis may be wrong. So we took her back to the specialist vet who confirmed she had insulinoma. However her regular vet hadn’t sent through her BG data, so we did that after the appointment. People get busy. It happens. And then we heard nothing.

This week we took Ama to the regular vet for another BG sensor and follow up blood tests because nothing much seems to have changed. And those tests were fine! However the new BG home data indicates lowish but steady BGLs. So, who the hell knows?

By necessity, Ama has been rather sedentary. Don’t want her to go hypo. Mostly she sleeps in the kitchen. It is her domain now, reinforcing her superiority over the other dogs. We will do a few experiments while she has the new sensor and see what happens to her BGLs when we introduce some exercise.

Anyway, the prognosis for untreated insulinoma was six months at most. It’s been three months. Ama continues none too shabbily.

So we wait and wonder. None of us are in a hurry to see the back of her, including her regular vet team who we overhead call her the nice one. We shall not mention that to Fynnie or Makea.

Is my backside too big?

In the meantime, we medicate Ama with non-fat treats. Ama doesn’t complain but she would prefer cheese.

Take care, everyone. Stay calm and don’t forget to eat a treat every now and then.

Kind Regards.

Tracy.

Posted on by Reflections of an Untidy Mind

Dropping My Camera and Off My Perch, Etc

My time flies when one becomes the latest keyboard warrior. More letters have flown off, winging on a slow breeze rather than darting quickly to strike their target. At the pace I’m keeping, the road will be built and trees chopped down before I strike my final cursive blow. Weeding also bounds along at a more rapid pace given the procrastination factor. Work on the home garden continues when the park care weeding does not provide sufficient distraction from the sardonic writing.

At one of my group weeding sessions, I had to flee due to a medical tech malfunction and in our haste to leave, my camera fell out of my tool bucket and smashed. My True Love made it up to me by buying me a new camera. Given I haven’t been quite in my right mind, I decided on a camera that I thought my True Love would like – you know, in the event that I drop off my perch, it wouldn’t be a waste of money.

Anyway, anyway, I’ve taken up backyard photography again while I work out how to operate this new camera. Also, my True Love tells me I am not allowed to put the new one in the tool bucket.

I’m using weedy native colonisers to enrich the soil in the backyard and as protection for some of the more difficult to establish local natives. I’ve discovered that it is far easier to establish new plants in soil that already has a good ground cover rather than in bare dirt. I suppose all you gardeners already knew that.

Phone photo.


The wrens like all the weedy colonisers, eg native cudweed and crumbweed.

New camera. It can take photos through lots of grass. Not brilliant but you get the idea of what these little birds like.


Anyway, anyway, anyway, gotta fly.

She’s off.


Take care, everyone, and see you again when next procrastination strikes.

Kind Regards.
Tracy.

Posted on by Reflections of an Untidy Mind

Reflections on May


Our big community park day event is over. Our team worked so hard on the event. I didn’t take a single photo. We had quite a few kids show up. They really got into fishing out the water bugs, insect hunting and planting (plants, not insects). I gave a little speech. I have a phobia about public speaking so consequently I remember nothing of what I said. I think I may have said something about birds or plants …. Who doesn’t love wildflowers?

No need for further Saturday house inspections. My son has found a small house and will be moving in shortly. Apparently the seller preferred to sell to a first-home buyer rather than an investor. There are still some kind people in this world. We are so excited for our son. The house is lovely. I think he will be very happy there. It is within walking distance so there are plans for the dogs to visit regularly and perhaps stay over for a few days at a time …. My son remained super calm through the whole stressful process.

Announcement to Shoppers. I went to the local hardware store. There was a public announcement in store asking shoppers not to be rude or aggressive to staff. It seems rudeness and aggression is a thing now. People are mostly kind to our park volunteers but not all. Those unkind people must be so miserable.

Strange Weather. It rained for a few days so we didn’t get to see the Southern Aurora. We are still waiting for the first frost of the year.

I am so proud of everyone who made our park day such a success. I am so proud of our park. I am so proud of my son – his kindness and calmness. He was an exemplary buyer. Kindness makes the world a better place. The sun has returned. We may get a frost soon.

Take care, everyone.

Kind Regards.
Tracy.

Posted on by Reflections of an Untidy Mind

Lens-Artists Challenge – Filling The Frame

Today I thought I would share some fairly ordinary photos in response to the Lens-Artists Challenge hosted by Anne of Slow Shutter Speed this week. For this week’s challenge, Anne has chosen the theme of Filling The Frame. I’ve told myself all I have to do is take the photos. They don’t have to be good. How hard can it be?

Anyway, I’m not a fan of my phone camera so I thought I would take a few photos with that. My phone is mostly stuffed down my bra so it is readily available. With some effort, I could even explore some of the camera functions.

Let’s start off with the garden. Because of our rodent problem we had to fence off some of the backyard from the dogs. Over winter, the warrigal greens consequently managed to populate a good section of the fenced off area. Not bad for a plant that apparently does not like frost. By the way, my True Love managed to evict the rats from the ceiling and wall cavities. Or perhaps it was just too hot for the rats inside the inner recesses. No aircon.

And again. Full frame this time.

I’m feeling a bit like Fynnie. Here he is growling at Makea because she happened to glance his way. I think Fynnie might be depressed or a psychopath.

What else have I got here? Oh yeah, I went to the dentist and took a snap of our city centre while I was in town. Also, I like tiles. The dirt just adds to the patina.

I fiddled with the tone in the phone camera and got something quite true to colour for once. A learning experience.

Thanks to all the gracious people who have put up with my depressed sarcasm. So now for the good stuff in appreciation of your support – a few bird photos taken by my True Love.

When the sign says “Swooping Bird”, one tends to think of magpies or masked lapwings, not Collared Sparrowhawks. This photo was cropped to within an inch of its life. And I thought I was unhappy!

Here it is again a bit further away among the trees that are filling the frame. Beats going to the dentist even if the sparrowhawk does swoop you.

A female Red-Rumped Grass Parrot.


Now the male.


I would like to thank Anne for her choice of theme this week. I really did enjoy it.

Take care, everyone.
Kind Regards.
Tracy.

Posted on by Reflections of an Untidy Mind

Pinkish

Hello Everyone, I am not quite in the pink of health but I am improving. I was feeling not too bad about my current circumstances after seeing the doctor for a pre-arranged check-up (not related to my illness) today. That was, until I got home ….

My True Love asked whether the doctor had looked in my ears? But no, he hadn’t. I told the doctor that I couldn’t hear well (ie. very limited), but he didn’t check my ears. There were other things to discuss that I could barely hear. My TL suggested that the doctor may have interpreted that to mean that I was just getting old and suffering from age-related hearing loss! Nothing to worry about that my hearing aids (left at home) couldn’t fix. My son suggested that the sloshing in my ear might be because I had puss on the eardrum. So I panicked and resorted to Dr Google. The prognosis is not good. I could have permanent hearing loss or cancer of the nose, or another two week wait to see the doctor for an ear infection that requires antibiotics now. I could have a prophylactic antihistamine and I did.

Needless to say, readers, it has been a shitty few weeks of flu-like symptoms. Since I was the only one in the family that was too busy to get a flu shot and the only one who succumbed to this horrible lurgy, then one and one is … I dunno. Anyway, I had my flu shot today.

Anyway, anyway, let’s have a flower photo to pink things up here.

Pelagonium rodneyanum – Australian National Botanic Gardens


Hope you are all in the pink. Take care, everyone.

Kind Regards.
Tracy.

Posted on by Reflections of an Untidy Mind

The Big Reveal

In a moment of sheer panic and disbelief, I revealed something of myself, that is, a nagging concern about my forgetfulness and seemingly habitual carelessness. I am sure this came as no surprise to anyone given the name of this blog site.

I will let you in on something else important to me. I love photography. That is why I was so cross with myself when I recently lost my camera SD card. I only have two cards, one good and one not so good. Photography is a window to the world, a place mark and time stamp, don’t you think? It organises me.

I am calmer, more observant and patient when I am taking photos. I find that which is hidden may be revealed by chance or as it catches the light. Somewhere. Somehow.

Too much suspense?

So when I eventually found my SD card, I was immensely relieved. It was not in the fridge or under the fridge, in the bathroom or at the bottom of a bag of weeds as I feared. The dog hadn’t eaten it, nor was it on any shelf known to harbor such treasured objects. I owe its discovery all to you, dear Readers, and your kind and sympathetic comments. I really do. Because when I opened my laptop to respond to those comments, there it was. Surprise!

I should blog more often, don’t you think? Anyway, it makes a good story with a happy ending.

Take care, everyone, and thank you.

Kind Regards.
Tracy.

Posted on by Reflections of an Untidy Mind

Follow That Man

Some hospitals have a bit of kit that allows friends and family to track the whereabouts of their loved ones that have been admitted to hospital. I’m not sure whether I like it. For example, when your True Love is in theatre, the app indicates this. However, it doesn’t tell you what is taking so long. Of course, as the anxiety builds and the hours stretch out, the tracker is prone to wondering what happens if the patient (the tracked) dies In Theatre? Fortunately, people come out of theatre sooner or later and when they do, the app indicates that the patient has Exited Theatre. It is left to the tracker to imagine in what condition the patient exited the theatre. When the last update occurs late in the evening, the tracker may have a certain reluctance to call the hospital for information given the hour.

Information provided to families with loved ones in a particular hospital advises that due to the Covid situation, visitors should consider the need to visit and encourages calling loved ones instead. The few times that I have been to hospital to be spliced open to remove wrigglers, I was groggy for days afterward so I do not think it would be at all wise to ring the tracked directly after surgery because clearly that person would be in recovery and not taking calls or back on ward and potentially indisposed, or worse. Having discussed this situation with the wrigglers, we can only presume that someone from the hospital would ring us if the patient was in a bad way or worse. There must be some limits to this app. Surely? Presumably?

All will be revealed. I guess. Tomorrow.

I need a song. I can’t think of a better one than Katie Melua singing If You Were A Sailboat.

I have turned off comments so that I can freak out.

Take care, everyone.

Kind Regards.
Tracy.